You've heard it a million times. But that's not enough times especially when you're insecure about yourself. If that's the case, get into process with a good counselor and work on those issues because surrounding yourself with people who are "not as good as you are", as a means of reinforcing your dominance, control and security...is really the most crippling thing you can do, producing little to no fruit.
Now lets clarify what we mean by "better than you". I'm not referring to the quality of a person. If that's the case, then everybody is better than me. But we're speaking more the areas of talents and abilities. In my case, I'm speaking as a musician. Don't think for a minute that I shouldn't consider surrounding myself with better pastors, ministers, husbands, fathers, etc. as well. All areas of my life should be spurred on by those who have "gone before me" or do circles around me. For the sake of this thought, we'll stick with music.
The presence of someone better can be paralyzing. Especially if it places your role in jeopardy or takes away the follow spot from you and places it on someone else. No one wants to be displaced. And no one wants to lose control of any given moment. I love what Lorraine Rosado said in a recent sermon: "The more control you surrender, the more in control your life is in". This is so true. So if your going to allow yourself to be surrounded by those who are better than you, you may have to work through some of those things. Sometimes it can be done with a dear friend who you can be honest with. It only takes the presence of one other person in community to loosen the grips of insecurity. Get that anxiety out of the privacy of your own heart and allow the light of another to shine on it, dispelling it and causing the darkness and power of secrecy to flee. Try it. It's so liberating.
When your able to do this, then comes the beauty of the "better person" rubbing off on you. When I'm the most knowledgeable person in a room, I have no where to go. It's really hard to grow in those moments. And to be real honest, I get tired. You're pulling everyone else in the room, but no one is pulling you. The creative ideas that you have stay in your head and cannot be carried out because the room is just not qualified enough. Get people into the room who are one step ahead of you.
And what about the spontaneous moments that you yourself need? Who is in the room that can do or go where not even you could imagine? Who's able to reinterpret what you've laid out, taking your ideas to another level? Where does your own wow factor come from? Yourself? Please!
I grew up the baby of my own family at home. With three older awesome sisters, I could only grown in one direction...up. I grew up the baby of my own musical surroundings. Bobby Roman, Bob Francescini, Gene Perez, Mark Leon, Phil Hamilton, Larry McRae, Daryl Jones, Timmy Reyes, Ray Vega, Oscar Cartaya, Tony Cintron, Mike Ciro, Tony Lewis...all musicians 10+ years older than me. I was always the baby of these groups. It was the best thing that ever happened to me musically. These guys believed in me, though I was rough around the edges. They could sill hear the hidden potential. And did they pull. Sometimes they called on a better drummer. I had to accept that, cry a little, and respond by making sure I did what I needed to in order to get the call back. Even Roberta Flack called on a better drummer. The Johnny Carson gig was a big one. I was the youngest band member and she needed a drummer who could take herself to the next level. So she called on Buddy Williams. It was the right move. What happened to me? I grew.
Go out and get yourself some "better than you's". See what it does to your whole person. Stop gypping yourself of the next level and find your security in who Christ says you are. Know that your place in secure because He gave it to you, and not yourself.
Lets go grow.
(Pictured: Joseph Cortese, Chris Coleman, Jamie Jones, Oskar Cartaya, Brian Meza, Sam Meza, Jeremy Del Rio)
